The Little Things

I've found that if I don't look for God's hand in the little things, I will be pretty disappointed.  He doesn't always reveal Himself through big miracles or a loud booming voice.  Most of the time it's through a song, or a conversation with a friend, or a passage of Scripture, or even through a hazelnut hot chocolate with tons of whipped cream.  :)


Sometimes my days here can be a bit monotonous.  If I don't make an effort to do some different things or add some variation to my schedule, I can start "going through the motions", and I don't like that.  On Mondays and Tuesdays I do a pretty good variety of things...I go to Mass in the morning, and then my afternoons are busy with random tasks for the Community of Nazareth, childcare or youth programme preparations, or babysitting.  On Wednesdays and Thursdays, however, I go into Spirit Radio after Mass.  I take the bus to the station, and it takes about 45 minutes to an hour to get there.  It's always the same old bus ride...I see the same old buildings, the same old houses, and the same old roads.  I sometimes look out the window and think to myself, "I'd like to stop in that bookstore/coffee shop/church/etc."  But I usually don't.  I'm either trying to get in to Spirit Radio or trying to get home for dinner.  Except this one day...


About a week and half ago, I was working at Spirit Radio and during my lunch break I asked one of my "co-workers", Jim, to tell me his testimony.  I had heard bits and pieces of it before from him and from other people, and I knew he had a really cool story.  Anyway, he shared his testimony with me over lunch that day and my heart broke while I listened to him talk about the horrible life he had before he found Jesus.  He lived most of his life in an orphanage and was treated terribly there.  He said that one day he went out to find Jesus because he just knew He was "out there" somewhere.  I couldn't believe he went out searching for Jesus...I mean, I think if I had been in his position I wouldn't think God existed!  But he said he somehow just knew God was there.  Anyway, to make a long story short, one of Jim's friends invited him to a prayer meeting once.  This was after he had left the orphanage. Reluctantly, Jim went to the prayer meeting with his friend.  He said he remembers them singing a song that said something like, "I will praise you God, for You have been good to me."   Jim said he felt really angry when they were singing that because he honestly didn't feel as though God had been very good to him.  Someone saw that he was angry and offered to pray with him.  After Jim received prayer, he cried out to God and said, "Even though I've been through all these horrible experiences in my life, I know You're still there."  And right then he was hit with the power of the Holy Spirit.  He said he just started crying, but that he experienced the peace of God like never before.  He experienced this peace so powerfully he said it felt like oil was being poured over his head and was running down his face.  When Jim told me this, the line from Psalm 23 came into my head:  "You anoint my head with oil...my cup overflows."  He said that right after that, he prayed to invite Christ into his heart.  I went back to my desk after Jim told me this story, and I was really blessed by it.  I had this feeling that I, too, wanted to experience the presence of God like that.  I prayed to God and said, "God, I want to experience You and Your peace like Jim did."  God responded right away and said, "I've manifested Myself to you many times..."  I told Him that I wanted Him to do it again...I wanted a fresh experience.  I didn't hear Him say anything back to me, but somehow I knew He would grant my request.  


I got done with my work at Spirit Radio a bit early that day.  I had about 2 and a half hours to spare before I had to be home for dinner, so I thought "Perfect!  I can stop somewhere on the way home!"  I got off the bus in Blackrock Village, which is somewhere I've always wanted to stop because of the cool Starbucks.  There's this big old Post Office building that has been converted into a Starbucks (found this picture on Google Images).  The bus I take on the way home from Spirit Radio stops right outside the Starbucks...and I always end up peering in the windows.  I look at all the comfy looking chairs and the cool art on the walls and think about how much I'd love to go inside.  Well that day I got to actually go inside and SIT in the comfy looking chairs and SEE the cool art on the walls.  I ordered a hazelnut hot chocolate and it was absolutely delicious.  The barista put a ton of whipped cream on top, and she even drizzled some chocolate on top of that!  Like I said...it's the little things that matter the most.  After I ordered my drink I did a little exploring and discovered that the back of the Starbucks has a gorgeous view of Dublin Bay.  You can sit and enjoy your coffee while looking out at the water.  :)  I sat there in the comfy chair drinking my hazelnut hot chocolate and looking out at Dublin Bay, and I couldn't help but think about how perfect that moment was. 

 It was just me, relaxing, not worrying about what time it was or what time I had to be back home.  I was just living in that moment.  While I was sitting there I pulled out my little notebook I keep in my purse because I felt like God was trying to tell me something and I wanted to write it down.  This is what I felt like God wanted me to write:  "I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship You.  Oh my soul, rejoice!  Take joy, my King, in what You hear.  Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear."  I read it after I wrote it down and I thought, "Why did I write that?"  I had no idea why those specific words had come to my mind.  I thought, maybe God wants me to take that literally and sing?  Or maybe He wants my life to be a sweet song to His ear?  I wasn't quite sure.  I closed the notebook, finished my hot chocolate, and left Starbucks.

I walked outside and just kind of window-shopped for a while.  I walked a little further up the road until I came to a big, beautiful church...St. John the Baptist.  I'd passed by this church on the bus many times, but like the Starbucks, I'd never stopped in.  As I stood in the road and looked up at the church, I felt kind of like God was beckoning me to come inside.  I thought, "Why not," and I walked up the steps and into the church.  I was immediately overwhelmed by God's presence in that church.  Something about the way the lights were shining...it seemed like there was light actually coming out of the tabernacle, rather than shining on it.  I smiled as I thought about how very present God was in this church.  I almost started to  cry, but I felt instead as though God wanted me to sing.  I looked around and realized there was no one else in the church.  Just me and God.  So I just started singing the first song that came to my mind..."Your name is like honey on my lips, Your Spirit like water to my soul.  Your Word is a lamp unto my feet.  Jesus I love You, I love You." 

 I started out kind of quiet but as the Holy Spirit led me I let my voice grow a little louder.  I loved the way my voice bounced off the walls in there.  I walked around singing and admiring the beauty of the church, and I truly felt like God was smiling down on me from Heaven.  I felt His peace all around me and again it almost made me cry.  It was such a cool experience!

It wasn't until late that night when I was writing about the day in my journal that I finally put the pieces together.  My singing in that church was a direct answer to the words that I wrote in Starbucks.  I wrote, "May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear."  It didn't make sense when I wrote it, but I realized that that was exactly why I started singing in that church.  I was lifting my voice to worship Him.  How cool...I told God earlier that day that I wanted Him to reveal Himself to me like He did with Jim...and He did!  He did it little by little...from hearing Jim's story, to speaking to me at Starbucks, to my singing in the church, to feeling Him smiling down on Me and wrapping me in His peace.  


"It's the little things that make a difference...it's the little things that show love."  - JJ Heller ("Little Things")

He Gently Whispered "Hope"

The good Lord has done it again!  He worked in a mysterious way to speak to my heart.  He has used NoiseTrade (the website) once again to say something to me!  This time He revealed His sense of humo(u)r a little bit.  :)

On Friday before I left for the Kairos Weekend (details later!), I was checking my email and I got one from NoiseTrade.  If you haven't read my great post about the "La-la-la-la" (Snow Globe) song, I'll briefly explain NoiseTrade.  Basically there are a lot of lesser-known artists that want publicity for their music, so they put an album up on NoiseTrade for free.  If you find some music you like, you can type in your email address and zip code and download the entire album for free.  And it's somehow legal.  :)  Anyway some artist named Foy Vance had put his album up on the website and I got a notification for it in my email.  I thought, "Huh...Foy Vance?  That's a strange name.  Foy?"  I clicked on the link to the album to check it out and I didn't like the song that started playing, so I deleted the email and didn't think much of it.

At the end of the last session of the Kairos Weekend, we were given a piece of paper like this:

We were asked to fill it out by putting our name in the top circle, and then in the other 3 circles we were to put three people that we wanted to share the Gospel with.  It was a really great exercise and it really made me think about the people I interact with.  During this there was a song playing.  I started filling out my circles but then I honestly couldn't think straight because I loved the song so much.  I loved everything about it...the guitar, the vocals, the lyrics.  It was just a really great song.  Something about the way it was being played in the room made it sound live...like the singer was right there in front of us.  I looked around to see if anyone else was distracted by the wonderful song.  The girl next to me asked me if someone was singing it live, and it made me laugh because I thought the same thing.  One girl in our row was singing the song quietly while filling out her circles, so I asked her to please tell me the name of it and who sang it.  You'll never believe what she said...

Foy Vance!  The strange name from the email I got from Noisetrade just two days before.  Ha!  Coincidence?  I think not.  I got home from the Kairos Weekend on Sunday and almost immediately fished that NoiseTrade email out of the "trash" folder.  I checked the song list to see if that song ("Gabriel and the Vagabond") was on there, and sure enough, it was!  I laughed about how just two days before, I thought Foy Vance had such a funny name but then I ended up falling in love with one of his songs.  Thanks, God.  :)  I downloaded the album and then listened to "Gabriel and the Vagabond" about 5 times and loved it even more.  Here are the lyrics and a link to the song.  It really is a great story.

"Gabriel and the Vagabond" by Foy Vance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4cjCuUQUwI

There's a man on the corner and his clothes are worn

And he's holdin' out his hand

You can see in his eyes as the people walk by

He knows they don't understand

You see, they just think he's gonna take their money

And then go and spend it all on dope

Then a man stopped by and I saw a smile inside him

As he gently whispered "hope"

Well the tramp started to cry

Kept saying "why why why...

Can't you see i'm a dying tonight?"

"I'm 32 and I've got this one pair of shoes

And a bad taste in my mouth

I think it's clear to see that even God don't love me

Or else why would He leave me this way?"

And then Gabriel just smiled and said, "Be peaced my child...

Salvation is here today"

He got up to his feet and he sang "Hallelujah"

People were turnin' around in the street

He looked them in the eyes and he sang "Hallelujah

There's someone here you gotta meet...

someone you just gotta meet"

When the vagabond turned around without a sound

Gabriel just smiled and disappeared

When he looked to the crowd

They were laughin' out loud

But he could not see them fore tears

When his vision came 'round

There was a young girl on the ground

And he knew she was findin' it hard to cope

She never was a fighter until he lay beside her

And gently whispered "hope"

They got up to their feet and they sang "Hallelujah"

People in the street were turnin' around

They looked them in the eyes and they sang "Hallelujah

Oh there's someone here that we have found

They sang out "Hallelujah, hallelujah...

We are the voices crying in the wilderness!

Hallelujah hallelujah!"

The people in the street started their sins to confess

And a chorus of "Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

Every knee will bow and every tongue confess!"

And the voice of one crying in the wilderness,

Crying out "hallelujah hallelujah"

I put the parts that struck me in bold.  The whole song strikes me though...I love the story about giving people the hope of Jesus Christ.  People that don't have any hope left.  They all started standing up in the street and confessing their sins and crying out, "Hallelujah, hallelujah!"  Gosh I would love to see that.  I love how they say, "There's someone here you gotta meet."  I want to be that enthusiastic when I talk to people about Jesus.  I want to have the boldness to tell them that they 'just gotta meet' Him!  I pray that that enthusiastic spirit would be placed in my heart.  I thank God for once again using NoiseTrade for speaking to me.  I can't stop listening to that song, honestly.  It inspires me so much to go out and make that happen.  I want to see people dancing in the street and confessing their sins!  

Okay, enough on that.  :)

The Kairos Weekend was held in Dublin this past weekend, and it was wonderful.  :)  There were 135 people there from all over Europe.  17-25 year olds came from Dublin, Belfast, London, Glasgow, Belgium, Spain, Germany, Poland, and Lebanon for a weekend of talks, workshops, worship, and fun.  I really enjoyed meeting so many new people, and of course catching up with some of the people I had already met on my GAP year.  I could tell by the end of the first day that the Holy Spirit was present.  There was a real buzz among the participants and the praise and worship times were really blessed.  The theme of the weekend was "Power from On High", and I could definitely feel the Lord's power in all aspects of the weekend.  I was one of the MCs (Master of Ceremonies) for the weekend, and that was a really new but good experience for me.  It was mostly giving announcements before and after the sessions, but it involved keeping track of time all weekend as well.  I enjoyed the experience overall, although it was a bit stressful at times and it really brought me out of my comfort zone.  I think that's what GAP years are for, though, if I'm not mistaken.  :)

I'm back "home" now and it feels great to be back.  I had share group last night for the second time with my new group.  I switched from a share group of college-aged girls to a group of 5 women that are married (except me and one other girl).  I think spiritually my new group is a better fit for me.  I feel really comfortable sharing my life with them...and I think that's really important for something that's called a "share group".  :)  Last night I gave everyone a Valentine's Day card and played some of my favorite JJ Heller songs on the guitar.  It was a good night.

After share group I got to Skype with one of my best friends (and "little sister") Ashley.  I used to babysit Ashley when she was younger, but she's 17 now and we're really close friends.  She helped me with my fundraising to come here and even gave me a large amount of money from her babysitting money.  :)  She's always been a great inspiration to me...she's smart, beautiful, and a faithful Christian young woman.  She's also one of those friends that you can't help but smile when you talk to.  I felt like I had a huge smile on my face the entire time I was talking with her last night.  She is just so easy to talk to and she really knows how to listen.  I can tell her anything and I know she won't judge me for it.  She asked me all kinds of questions about my GAP year and that made me so happy.  :)  I got to see her baby sister Jamie tonight too, and that of course made me smile even bigger.

That's Ashley on the right, and her little sister Jamie on the left.

That's all I have to share today.  Sorry this post was so long...thanks to my faithful readers who take the time to read my blog!  It means a lot to me to have your support.  Thanks also to Rebecca's mom, Mrs. Vogel, and also to Jodie and Vernon from Maryland---your Valentine's Day cards made my day!  


God bless you all.  May He fill you with a deeper love for Him!

(some wonderful ladies from Poland, Glasgow, Belfast, Mexico and Dublin)

When the Day of Evil Comes

The women's retreat last weekend went very well!  Thanks for all your prayers during that weekend.  Unfortunately when I came back from London (2 days before the retreat), I had a pretty bad sore throat, and it continued on into the weekend and all last week!  It was only by God's grace that I was able to lead worship for the women's retreat.  He gave me my singing voice just when I needed it, and according to the women at the retreat it sounded pretty good!  :)  There were some great talks over the weekend, and the theme was Ephesians 3:17, which says, "Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you."  We talked about where our roots are...whether they're in things of the world or in God.  It was very challenging but I got a lot out of it.  I got back from the retreat feeling exhausted, but it was nothing a good nap couldn't fix.  :)

The week after the retreat was the Spirit Radio (see link) pledge drive.  This is where the radio presenters say something to the effect of "People!  People!  We need your money!"  (Little Rascals movie reference).  Spirit Radio is a listener-supported radio station, so we depend highly on the financial support of the listeners to keep the station going every day.  We ran the pledge drive for 4 days last week with a goal of €40,000, and we raised around €37,000.  Pretty good!  It was exciting to be there answering the phones.  It was such a blessing to pick up the phone and hear someone say, "I want to donate to the station."  We got a couple of really big donations from people, too, and we were pretty much dancing around the station.  Praise God for His provision during the pledge drive!

The Kairos Weekend (see link) is coming up this weekend.  I am on the planning team and we have been preparing for this weekend for months now.  Lots of work has gone into everything from finding a venue, to deciding on a theme for the weekend, to recruiting speakers for the talks and workshops.  There will be over 100 people ages 17-25 from all over Europe coming to Dublin for the weekend, so I'm looking forward to meeting new people and reconnecting with others whom I've met on my GAP year so far.  I'm expecting the Lord to do great things over the weekend!  I know He's going to do great things because I've been experiencing a bit of spiritual warfare lately.  Not only was I sick for quite a while, but I was randomly in a really bad mood a couple of days ago.  It was nothing anyone did or said...I just was feeling really angry.  It was over the silliest thing...washing a bunch of cups from childcare.  Normally it's not a big deal...I just wash them and get on with my day.  But this time I felt really angry for some reason.  I had to leave the kitchen when I was done and go up to my room to pray for a while.  I think this was an attack from the devil because he knows there are going to be good things happening at the Kairos Weekend...so he's trying to bring me down before it happens.  Please keep all of us in your prayers---both the staff and the participants!

I had a really great prayer time yesterday.  The Lord brought Ephesians 6 to my mind...verses 10-18 in particular, where Paul talks about putting on the armor of God.  I read through these verses several times and I could really visualize myself putting on God's armor and being strong enough in Him to be able to fight off the devil and his tactics.  It was exactly what I needed to hear after my random bad attitude.  Here's what Ephesians 6 says (with some things underlined that struck me):

"[...] 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."

Whew!  Every time I read that I get pumped up!  In my mind, I put on all of that armor and feel ready to conquer any problem or bad attitude that might come my way.  I love how it says, "When the day of evil comes" and not "If the day of evil comes".  God never promised that we wouldn't have difficult days or experience attacks from the evil one.  He does promise, though, that He'll be with us when those days come.  Good stuff.  I've written down that passage from Ephesians and put it up on my wall in my room next to my mirror.  I'm going to try and memorize it because I know there's so much power that comes from memorizing scripture.  As Paul writes in Ephesians 6:17, the "sword of the Spirit" is the word of God.  So if I memorize scripture and keep it always in my mind and on my tongue, it actually sharpens my sword!

I've been growing a lot spiritually during these last 5 months of my GAP year.  I've had ups and downs in my prayer life, but for the most part it's been great.  I've really been blessed by having time in my schedule for daily Mass and personal prayer.  The Catholic church I go to is only about a 10 minute walk from my house, so I love the short walk in the mornings.  I'm not able to go to Mass every morning, but it's been a great way to start my day when I can go.  :)

Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement, and other ways of supporting me during my GAP year.  I wouldn't be here without you!